Diaries of a Hillbilly – The Internet

A few years ago I was looking for a newer truck to impress my old lady, so I went all over the town asking people if they want to sell their vehicle. When I asked my cousin Merle if he knows someone who has a truck for sale, he said why you don’t go on line and look for one. I says to cousin Merle, I says, on what line? He said I mean on the web!

I knew that cousin Merle had some drug problems and wasn’t all together, so I didn’t want to embarrass him. So I says, sure cousin Merle, I’ll call up Spiderman and ask him. He said, I mean use a computer, stupid. Now I couldn’t understand what buying a truck has to do with Spiderman or a box with a cup holder, but I was thinking that we may need to put cousin Merle in rehab again.

Later that day he came over and took me to a café which had a bunch of boxes with cup holders with odd looking TVs on top of them. He sat in front of the box and said, tell me what kind of truck you are looking for and I’ll punch it in! That was when I realized that he has completely lost it!

Now years have gone by. I never got a new truck. My old lady left me for reasons that I will tell you later about. My children are now teenagers. I now know what a computer is and what is Internet, thanks to my youngins. In fact last Christmas they all asked me to buy them each an EyePot, so I did. Nifty little computers are these EyePots, and the name reminds me of cousin Merle for some reason, but they ain’t come with cup holders no more. What an age we live in!

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